- Nyt -

There is something in its calm... the quiet unknown that holds shadowed mysteries... dreams... The night seduces me. The open window brings a deafening silence... and with it comes a cool breeze that caresses my naked --



di ko kaya magsulat ng erotica.

wag na nga. tulog na ko.

g'nyt.

[UPDATE v.1] Temporary Reprieve Assignments

haaay. wla akong net. wlang kwenta. will publish all pag meron na. still doesnt deter me from writing though. wla nga lang maka-basa. oh well. this is the first of the two updates i plan to write. just to check if i could actually accomplish anything this summer. as of now, this is my progress report...
_ _ _ _ _ _

1. blog updates as often as possible, kahit wlang kwenta lang. FAIL!
hey, i still have a month to pick up the slack... but w/o my net... i'm useless.

2. lose weight. FAIL!
current weight: 130lbs. i'm hoping to bring it back down to 120-115lbs...

3. will not take summer job offers, no matter how tempting. PASS!
chicken lang to', i'm naturally lazy anyway hehehe pero sayang tlaga, dapat nag-apply ako sa Grace... mdali lang nman ung work eh...

4. haircut but no radical hair color changes until may. PASS!
still have long-ish hair... no color yet.

5. finish watching all 7 seasons of Star Trek Voyager. PASS!
OMG! took me a WEEK but i did it! i finished all 47 dvds. i am now officially a geek.

6. finish reading Katzung even if it kills me. FAIL!
yeah, yeah... so kill me. I got through a few chapters before i got bored. but i still have a month!

7. fix sleeping pattern from 7am-1pm to 11pm-6am (i'm currently in violation...) FAIL!
i like the night... so quiet and peaceful. i cant help it! better start taking pills...

8. watch a movie at least once every 2 weeks. PASS!
this one's fun, no probs! wala na kong paki, solo man o may kasama basta mka-nood! hehehe.

9. will go out of the house at least thrice a week. FAIL!
eh ang hirap lumabas kung wla kang pera eh... grr... teka, kasama ba pag na-utusan lumabas para bumili ng tinapay?

10. reduce candy intake... argh... PASS!
but the craving is still there. i hope i dont binge in the end...

11. will take up a sport or instrument. PASS!
nag-bbadminton na po ako. at least once a week.

12. will leave the city at least once the entire summer... FAIL!
daming plano, wlang natuloy

13. join an org... i hear the chinese charity volunteer firemen are looking for new recruits with 1st aid/ med training... PASS!
yes, pending na ung sa volunteer firefighters, and member na ako ng wa-chi veterans assoc. (not by choice...)

14. will refuse driving family members 'round w/o compensation hehehehe. FAIL!
pag ayaw ko raw ako mag-bayad ng gas... no choice talaga...
_ _ _ _ _ _

I'll probably have one more update near the end of next month. until then eto na muna.

---kzs---

Women and Workout

i thought i was more "butch" than most. but i guess not.

my 'get fit' summer resolution is finally underway. my sisters wanted to suffer with me so, ok, fine. we cruised around looking for a "decent" gym or fitness club we could join.

"decent" can mean oh-so-many many many different things....

punta kami sa gym#1, along del monte
pros: mura lang membership, malapit sa sakayan ng jeep
cons: mukhang manyak ang trainer, sobrang lapit sa mga pondohan, baka ma-harrass kami ng tambay (accdg to my sis)

gym #2, banawe cor. retiro
pros: reasonable membership fee, female trainers, may spa, and maraming "eye candy" na nag-wwork-out.
cons: mejo maliit lang ung place and its SANDWICHED between an Ice Monsters and Fat Boy Pizza... talk about temptation... but who cares, right?

gym#3, along retiro
pros: ewan di kami nag-tagal
cons: we had trouble finding a parking spot, then when we got to the place and opened the door to inquire, we stopped dead in our tracks- assailed by an OVERWHELMING wall of smell (think: sweat, old socks, B.O. in varying combos) AS IN, grabe, na-hinto kami, looked at each other then turned around to walk out without inquiring.

I guess we narrowed our criteria to these:
1. hindi 'mukhang manyak' ang trainer
2. 'malinis' ang lugar
3. ok ang equipment
4. *no sweaty-socks-b.o. smells*
5. maluwag (hindi kayo mg-hahawaan ng pawis pg ng-eexercise)
6. malayo sa temptation
7. hindi 'mukhang manyak' ang mga dumadayo doon

so far, isa lang ang mejo umabot sa standards namin ng mga kapatid ko. fine. nakita ko lng yung boxing ring, wall-climbing at jacuzzi... ok na rin ako. hehehe

---kzs---

Holy week to 7th Heaven

this entry is dedicated to my most avid reader... the most excellent divah, owbreeeh! (i'm not wortheee! *bow*)
_ _ _ _ _ _

holy week again. absolutely NOTHING to do. the malls are closed. restos are closed. ang bukas lang within the radius of my house ay ung Mighty Mart, Pan de Manila, at yung Sta Teresita Hosp. grabe talaga, ito lang ang bukas na 'hotspots' dito samin. so tumambay muna ako sa pan de manila. bumili ng tinapay. haay.

i havent watched TV in more than a month... nothing good is ever on anyways. kaya sa pag-kakataong ito, nakipag-sapalaran muli ako sa mundo ng local entertainment. (in other words, di ko maagaw ang remote sa nanay ko na nanonood ng channel 7 at Qtv. shet.)

nakatulog rin ang nanay ko tapos nyang pababain ang IQ ko sa panonood ng 'Show Ko' ni Ethel Booba and her wonder badings. sa wakas, na-agaw ko rin ang remote. at nagsimula akong mag-channel surf.

tapos kong panoorin ang mga replay ng crime/suspense... wala nanamang mapanood. dumaan ako muna sa Nick at Cartoon Network bago ko na-realize...

oh Lord, matanda na ko. nawala na ang appeal ng cartoons.

bigla kong nakita ang yearly 7th Heaven marathon ng Studio 23. nanood nanaman ako. di ko mapigilan, i dont know why... it draws me like a moth to a flame... and so, I learned, since last akong nkapanood ng 7th Heaven:

si Matt di pa rin doktor, pero may asawa na (at may tiyan na rin, wla nang appeal...)
si Mary nanganak na (pero di siya pinakita ever sa mga episodes)
si Lucy ay may asawang pulis at buntis na
si Simon matanda na (wla na ring appeal kasi nakakalbo na... =/ )
si Ruthie lintek may jowa na
si Ashley Simpson nandun pla... at blonde ang buhok
may 'boarders' sila sa bahay... parang lahat dun ang tambay
ung pastor nila dun nang-agaw ng gf ng iba (kala ko good values ang 7th heaven?)

ang 7th heaven pla walang kwento at walang kwenta...

mano-nood nlng ako ng Cleaningpad Rectanglepants sa Nick... mas may sense.
_ _ _ _ _ _

lintek, bukas ang starbucks at icebergs sa banawe!!!! waaaaaahhh!!!! THANK YOU LORD!!!!

---kzs---

The proverbial apple and the tree

Most people find me eccentric. I can't help it. I guess its part of the uniqueness that is Me.

But its not entirely MY fault.

I blame it on the environment... I blame it on my upbringing... I blame it on MY GENES.

I am the Product of two EXTREMES. (picture: Angel + Devil = Adam Sandler's Little Nicky)

Mom is sensible and practical. A kindergarten teacher. Nice, down to earth...

DAD however, is another ENTITY. He's extremely mischievous and unpredictable. more like the "attack of the alien chinaman from the 6th dimension"

===ooo===

Pa: nakita na ako ng mga classmates mo?
kzs: Oo.. (he's asked this a zillion times)
Pa: anu raw? Pogi raw tatay mo? pogi? parang kapatid raw?
kzs: ... uh.. hinde... iba tinatanong e... (yeah i know, saying "Yes" would've shut him up... WHAT WAS I THINKING?!)
kzs: bakit daw hindi kita ka-mukha?
Pa: ba, malay ko?... kung kani-kanino tumatabi yang si Mama mo...
_ _ _ _ _ _ _

(during dinner at a chinese resto)

Pa: Kain kayong lahat gulay (while trying to put veggies on our plates)
us: ayaw... ikaw nag-order nyan, ikaw umubos
Pa: (while putting veggies on Mom's plate) ito, sayo na Tanda, para maganda ka
(I thought Mom was gonna kill him then)
_ _ _ _ _ _ _

(at the Megamall G2 Show...)

Pa: may camera kayo?
us: wala kaming dala e, bakit?
Pa: (with a stupid grin) sabi sakin nung tatlong chicks na pink ang buhok pwede raw picture, pwede raw akbay... (promo girls ata ng Priston Tale)
us: . . . ?!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _

(while talking about a younger sister's suitor)

Pa: hindi pwede! tapos muna college bago ligaw ligaw!
kzs: eh Pa, pano kami tapos na, ibig sabihin pwede na? (we were just baiting him...)
Pa: Oo, kayo pwede na, pero pa-approve muna ako
kzs: kailangan ba chinese?
Pa: hindi naman, check ko muna apelido nila (I dunno what he meant)
kzs: (gulat kami) so pwede kahit Pilipino?
Pa: hindi lahat. depende.
kzs: depende saan?
Pa: apelido rin.
kzs: ????
Pa: Pwede Ayala, Zobel, etc etc etc... (ah ewan bwiset!)
_ _ _ _ _ _ _

(while trying to help endear my sis' bf )

kzs: ok nman taste ni edz eh...
Pa: pano mo nasabi ok? bata bata pa boyfriend na?!
kzs: may itsura nman ung lalaki...
Pa: ano itsura?
kzs: mejo hawig mo nga eh! ayaw mo nun? pogi?
Pa: aba, tanong mo sa nanay nya bakit ganun...! bakit kamukha ako...?

===ooo===

*sigh* I probably got my stoic demeanor and control from my mom... pero nasa loob ang kulo.

---kzs---

Temporary Reprieve Assignments (a.k.a. summer vacation 'will do' list)

matters discussed subject to revisions at any time.
(considering its 4.30 am and i'm typing this before i go to sleep)

I, kzs, of the sleep deprived mind and out-of-condition body, do hereby declare that this summer

1. blog updates as often as possible, kahit wlang kwenta lang.
2. lose weight
3. will not take summer job offers, no matter how tempting.
4. haircut but no radical hair color changes until may
5. finish watching all 7 seasons of Star Trek Voyager
6. finish reading Katzung even if it kills me
7. fix sleeping pattern from 7am-1pm to 11pm-6am (i'm currently in violation...)
8. watch a movie at least once every 2 weeks
9. will go out of the house at least thrice a week
10. reduce candy intake... argh...
11. will take up a sport or instrument
12. will leave the city at least once the entire summer...
13. join an org... i hear the chinese charity volunteer firemen are looking for new recruits with 1st aid/ med training...
14. will refuse driving family members 'round w/o compensation hehehehe

i realized that this will be my first/last summer vacation so i should stress the vacation part... i was gonna get a summer job, good thing i changed my mind... i might just string up mom's hammock and sleep the summer away...

gawd... headache... blurry vision...

better sleepzZzZz....

---kzZzZzs---

Vocandabulary 101

I'm compiling my mom's terminologies in the hopes that someone would enlighten me...


(adj) talipandas/ taliban
guess definition: pasaway, matigas ulo?
used in a sentence: Hoy babaeng talipandas! telephone!

(n.) bru (bruha)
guess definition: nickname nya samin ni edz pag na-bbwisit cya
used in a sentence: Bru! bumaba ka na para kumain!

(n.) pa to tang (chinese for cement mixer)

guess definition: nickname nya sa kapatid ko pag frustrated cya

used in a sentence: Pa to tang ano ba yan, kya ka tumataba eh!...

(n.) kweng kweng

guess definition: accessories
used in a sentence: Bawasan mo nga yan, dami mo nang kweng-kweng.

(adj.) toknengneng (tama b to?)
guess definition: idiot, bobo
used in a sentence: Para kang toknengneng ano b yang gnagawa mo?

(n.) chihuahua
guess definition: general term for any persistent suitor / bf naming mgkakapatid...

used in a sentence: Sabihin mo nga sa kapatid mo na tama na telebabad sa chihuahua nya sa phone!

~ to be cont'd... bka dagdagan ko pa to pag sinipag ako... =) ~

---kzs---

Why me? Why med?

My youngest sister is about to start college this year. Time flies extremely fast. The occasion got me thinking about my own long interminable education and unfinished career.

Few uerm peeps know this... but since I've left high school, I've never had a full summer break. I've had summer classes ever since I started college at UST. Hangang 1st year sa ue hindi pa rin ako nadala. In short, wala pa akong buong summer vacation for the past 6 years.

Never pa akong na-delay (a conundrum, until now) laging 2nd sem ang bagsak ko kya pwede kong i-summer. Tinanong na sakin yan ng guidance counselor ng UST, sabi nya tingnan ko raw ung mga sched ng subjects, bka may pattern daw sa mga binabagsak ko. Pero mejo alam ko nman ang rason kung bakit ako ganito.

I never really wanted to become a doctor.

People may not perceive it, but I'm a deeply spiritual person. I pray before making decisions. And in choosing a college, I prayed that if I got into UST, that will be my 'sign' that the Lord wants me to go into med.

Ang hirap ng bio. I started questioning my being there. I became content with just 'passing'. In effect, I was sabotaging myself. Subconsciously, I know that if I get delayed, i'd shift to an easier course. I was waiting for an excuse. But I never got delayed. Ang galing... weird, laging sabit. As every failure I got pulled my pride down a notch, I learned to cope. I know that failure doesnt mean the end, and I learned to accept what comes. So I finished bio, with a lot of lingering doubts and a disgracefully tarnished transcript.

I applied to UE and got in. But I wasnt willing to commit myself to a lifetime of studying, neither was I eager to join the daily grind yet. So I chose the more familiar of the two. As usual I prayed for a sign... this time, a butterfly, an insect that I would hardly notice. Then I resigned myself to the possibility that I was destined to join the workforce. And so, a week passed and nothing. I wasnt going to make any move without my 'sign'. It was three days before UE starts classes, I was home alone watching TV when a girl with a big butterfly print blouse came on. I started laughing. And enrolled the next day.

My first year at uerm wasnt any different from my UST bio days. It was hard for me to believe that the Lord wanted me to become a doctor. I didnt think I can handle the responsibility... I dont want the responsibility. I did well the first few modules, then my doubts started to resurface. I had to take removals for 2 modules, if I failed both, I'd be delayed or kicked out. As usual, I only failed one... and had to take summer classes. But i'm still in. Still on time.

So that was the 'pattern'. I decided to test it. Which was why (to the confusion of some people) I was doing better this 2nd year. It was hard, working to raise my grade after 5 years of habitual slacking off, but I managed to do slightly better this year. I had no removals in any of the modules. I had some probs with OSCE and PDII but basically, I was ok.

I was stubborn... still am. but since I dont want to get swallowed by a whale or turned into a pillar of salt, I choose to believe this... however outrageous it may sound. Maybe I'm only supposed to reach 4th year. Maybe I'm destined to save only one life, then die in a car wreck. Maybe I'm supposed to become a missionary doc to Africa. Ewan. So I learned to give in and let go.

I may never really get rid of my doubts... but I learned to enjoy med life. I've allowed myself to think that maybe, I can become a halfway competent doc. The idea does have some appeal.

Either way, I'll try to do better from now on. Med school is horrendously difficult. It's nice to speculate that the Lord is on my side.

---kzs---

I'm FAT =(

hoookay. I've always liked the way I looked. I'm not really the type that feels insecure about my body. I never really minded the few extra pounds that I put on since I started med. I love to eat. I dont mind the weight gain... I have a fast metabolism, I can lose it fast if I wanted to.

PERO SHET LANG.

when your old college profs comment on the weight you've gained... ARGH. you know you've got a problem.

tumaba daw ako sabi ni Ma'am Javier =( (and nung socio prof natn... sori, forgot the name... ) muntik na raw nya akong di mamukhaan. waaaaaaaaaaahhh!!!!!!!!

ok, ok. alam ko. malaki na ang braso ko, bilbil ko, etc. masikip na ang uniforms ko. pati mga lumang pantalon ko, halos di ko na masara. pero mukhang ginawa ko nang rason na ok lang sakin tumaba, dahil TINATAMAD akong magpa-payat. bwiset.

*sigh* time to lose the pounds...

---kzs---